she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
