the day after is always just damage control
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize