PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
