Are we in a gay sports bar?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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