you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
