help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
