I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
