K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
