I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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