Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize