I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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