So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the day after is always just damage control
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
