Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
