we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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