ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
