There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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