This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize