Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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