She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
