can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
