please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
This is not my ceiling
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
