my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
