It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
What drink are we having for lunch?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
