I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just high enough for therapy.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
