dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
