No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
