i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
