Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
