Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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