I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
