I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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