Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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