I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
