I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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