i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
