The best revenge is premature balding
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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