This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
