I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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