Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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