My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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