Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Drunk walkin through police station. America
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
