I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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