I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
