oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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