She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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