I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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