im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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