i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize