All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
