He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize