you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
