Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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