you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
